Now I understand

Quotable quotes which I finally managed to understand-- today.

1. As if recording a strange phenomenon, some Englishman recorded in his diary: "I have been to church today, and am not depressed."

2. Elton John: "I want love, but it's impossible...A man like me is dead in places (and the song continues:)

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
That's the love I want, I want love"

3. Lyrics from a song called Forever:

"...how wide You open up Your arms
When I need Your love
And how far You would come

IF EVER I WAS LOST."

I finally understand what it's like to be in touch with one's humanity. But after today, I realised crying doesn't quite get you anywhere. Maybe it'll release stress and elongate your life (who wants to elongate this already too-long existence?) . But it didn't help me.

What helped me? Jogging did. When I ran, I realised I was running a race and probably pulled a muscle. And that's it's natural to get tired. And discouraged. And I realised that always the starting was the hardest, getting my big big torso to move, one that probably had become lazy as a result of too much computerwork. But slow and steady makes the last 3 rounds no kick at all.

Patience, my son, patience. And absolute confidence and trust.

Then my mind became clearer. And at least, I know I don't need to go sobbing any more. I have a need, as all people do.

Pray for me, if u read this? 'Cos the level of focus I have is obviously lessened by my need. For now, I taking one thing at a time. Not being too hasty. But pray. Pray. Don't pity, pray. Don't advise, pray.

But even as David say, so shall I say:

Ps 16:8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Ps 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
Ps 16:10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
Ps 16:11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.