There's FIRE in the House (995 part V)

Summarisation of what the Lord's been speaking.

1. Never take your eyes off the Lord. Fatal, I tell you.

2. God takes the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. The people who've been used by God to do great things, were not the most talented, the most eloquent, the most popular, or the most wise. They were those humble enough to acknowledge that if God does not move, nothing can be done. And that's why God can be pleased to use them. Because it's his anointing for his work, and his work for his glory.

3. Dream big. God didn't give you an imagination so you could live in a world of fantasy. God gave you an imagination to 'see' what he promised way before you saw it in the natural. For you to picture God's promises, and to apply your faith to God's promise, so that you WILL see it fulfilled in the natural.

4. So don't dream based on your limitations and scope, human frailties and strengths, human perspective and trusting merely in people. Dream God's dream. See God's plan. Hear God's voice. And then obey. Don't shrink back from sheer lack of faith.

5. You need to realise that without the Holy Ghost, you really have nothing. Don't assume that the men and women of God in the past were successful because of the external qualities you thought they have. "This man's a firebrand with boundless energy. No wonder he left a lasting legacy." "These people would never give up. Not like me."

No, the prayers you've made are the wrong ones. Don't pray for more enthusiasm or more drive, that's not what you need. You need the Holy Ghost. Remember?? When's the last time you got in touch with more than a superficial encounter with the Holy Ghost? Where's your emphasis on the Holy Ghost? Have 'principles' clouded your judgment? What is more important -- the principles God taught you, or God who MAKES those principles work?

Recall some principles you were taught. 'You need to hear the voice of God, to get direction from him, to spur you on'. 'You need greater surrender'. 'You need to patch up the weaknesses of your life'.

Does all that point to you, and your ability to make all that happen? Or does it point to the fact that you need the Holy Spirit, for him to fill you? For if he fills you, your weaknesses will be stripped away as he fills you with his strength. And if he fills you, your communion with him will pave the way for your ministry and the demands of your life. And if you agree you need a greater filling, how are you filled? As you yield to him. That is, as you fully release yourself in surrender to his dominion.

6. Don't do the reverse prayer. Don't ask for an ordinary life. For ordinary life is not what fulfils, nor the supposed pleasures and frills of life. God is what satisfies. If you find satisfaction in ordinary life, it is only because God gives you that satisfaction. And therefore if God is your lot, you will have satisfaction wherever you go. Remember. Remember! -- for the things of the world are crying out to your heart and your eyes. Do not be deceived by them. For I, the Lord, hold life and pleasures in my hand. So live the life I called you to live, set apart for me.

Singapore's Natural Education (SNE08)

Heya guys. As a guai kia studying for exams, I recently learnt that:

1. Entering the library, in the exam season, is the worst idea you can possibly have. How do I know? I went in yesterday and exited with a souvenir. The flu.

2. With the number of China students around me, I should be thankful I didn't catch the HongKong Flu.

3. More proof the Japs can't spell. Here's a quote from my notes: the Meiji Restauration.

4. Incidentally, Nick told me today that 'Meiji' is the brand name of some foodstuff. HEY, what do you know. *wink* No wonder the misspelling.

5. Did I mention that a certain character called "Lim Peh" recently went for a 40 min tan? It was refreshing, I assure you. =)

6. Unfortunately, no chio bus around. Remember! Never go tanning on Mons!

7. Now u see why someone even coined a song, "Rainy Days And Mondays Always Get Me Down." Obviously. Cannot tan mah!

Simi sai? Something I went to try...

You Are A Realistic Romantic

You are more romantic than 60% of the population. It's easy for you to get swept away by romance... But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective. You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

Jay-eSS. Jap studies.

Wah, mental block liao. After 1 day of just slacking, no momentum liao. =)

Today I saw this live band composed of mid-age band members. Wah piang eh, they are chao zai. Esp the drummer. One of the few times I see a S'porean drummer who just enjoys his music and let go...and isn't preoccupied with looking 'normal'. One Malay lady who was enjoying the gig was almost dancing away! Haha! I would dance too...if I weren't alone. :P It was some catchy music...same genre as "Johnny Be Good", but I dunno the title... =)

Bah. I'm going upstairs to enjoy a few games of Percussion Freaks. Cannot study liao.

Ha. How much do you know about me? :P Try and see how much you know!
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

Notice of EVACUATION

Heyo all my dearest fan club,

In exactly five (5) working days time, this blog address shall be changed to 1chance2laff.blogspot.com. =) This is a conscious effort from your star to improve his customer appeal. :P

(Why do I sound like a GLC?)

Exams have started! Yay and boo!

My gratitude

To those who've been praying, my hearty thanks. And to those who asked me to go back to the Word, more thanks. And to God, who inspired Peter to write 1 Peter, my utmost thanks.

I'm very much encouraged now. And I know what leaves me exhausted. This silly computer!!

=D

I am blessed

Today, my dad and mum came back from NZ! Finally! Haha. And my dad bought me a bear from there. A small cute bear. Quite an irony, if you ask me, 'cos he was always so proud of himself last time for refusing to buy me any stuffed toys when I was young. Said it led me to develop more useful hobbies instead (like chess and guitar). And I don't disagree. Just that, I still like bears. =)

I think the time when my dad realised that all along I've wanted a bear was when I showed him my Pooh so proudly and said, "This Pooh is really God-sent." Went on to tell him how I've wanted something like this for so long, but never had the money to buy it (and wouldn't buy it too even if I had the money, 'cos bu4 she3 de2). And that how paiseh it would be for me to buy something like that for myself...so having a big nice orange Pooh was really a blessing.

And my dad bought me a bear from NZ this time! =) Hahahahhaa. So happy.

It's a bit of a small bear, but I reasoned it this way: the bears just show that both my dads are great and both my dads love me. See, my heavenly Dad is a BIG Dad, so he gave me a Big Pooh. As for my Earthly Dad, he's not so big, but he still loves me too. So therefore, small bear. =D

I know I sound so kiddy! But I can't help it. Feel very loved.

Update

2 nights ago, when lying in bed, I took back my heart from the many girls whom I had given it to. Somehow the Lord asked me to do that. Something I would never dream of doing, 'cos it sounds so flaky.

The thing that has been on my mind since Sat was "surrender". And it gave a good guess as to what lay behind the plateau of my spiritual walk. Surrender. To say, yes Lord, take it ALL. And so in my mind the Lord came into this room of many doors. And I felt led to open them all. And then this issue of my heart came into mind. And the Lord asked me to take back my heart, which I had left with so many people, and make it mine.

And so since he asked me to do it, I did it. I renounced all the emotional linkages I had formed with these girls, and forgave them and MYSELF in the name of Christ. And I said those words, "And I take back my heart and make it mine, in Jesus name". And somehow there was that sense of letting go. I felt a lot of tightening bonds over my heart let loose.

And then a thought struck me -- that I had to forgive those girls the way God forgave me. "Even as the East is from the West, so has he removed our rebellious acts from us". Which means I need to cut it loose and let it go (to literally choose to forget). To let it go as far from me as the East is from the West (or for the more mathematically inclined, as far as positive infinity X is from negative infinity X). Even in the same way as God remembers not my sins, I remember not those incidents anymore. And so I imagined all those incidents, like waste paper, being crushed up and thrown far far away into the horizon.

And I have taken back my heart. It came back piece by piece, even as the face of each girl appeared in my mind. And I feel this sense of wholeness affirmed.

Upon recalling what happened, I have a few logical conclusions. I recovered my heart from them, so that I would no longer be bound to them. And so that I can give it away to someone else who will care for my heart, rather than to leave certain bits hanging on someone else. I also thought of the "spiritual conclusion"-- that God alone is deserving of my heart, but as spiritual as that sounds, it just didn't click inside me. Rather, it's just the love of God for me. To set me free from burdens that are just a whole load of mess.

I saw something weird tonight

As I was blogging, here came this stray dog, in total upright position, anticipating a fight. I was quite startled and so decided to myob (or in my case, mmob). Then the dog started growling. And it was still facing my right, not moving, eyes and head fully at attention.

My heart was pounding quite a bit. (First time see dogs fight within 1 metre of me)

Then the dog suddenly ran away. And I looked to see where his opponent (if there was one, cos it didn't seem as if there was any other dog around) was. And lo and behold, the thing that scared off the big black dog, was this small white house cat, with a red collar on it, I must add.

Life is weird. The weirdest things happen at the weirdest times.

I am coming for you, Wounded Soldier.

I felt like crying. But no tears would come out.

Tried to look for my favourite book, "Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately". And realised it was no longer on the shelf. Someone must've taken it!!! So angry now.

I wish I could weep the world away. Or at least roll around in bed and forget it all.

Thought in my mind: "Two are better than one. For if one falls, the other is able to pick him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to pick him up!"

Thought in my mind: "The most pitiful person on earth is the person whom no one prays for."

Singapore's Natural Education (SNE 07)

This is a bit of an evil blog. Ha. Take it tongue-in-cheek.

Well, as a student from NUS who has just gone through his last week of term (yay~), I have learnt that:

1. The highlight of the week was a question. It's called "Why Study History".

And no, it's not rhetorical ("Yaloh, dun study lah!!") nor sarcastic ("because we have no choice, and we lan-lan have to tak chek, uni not cheep, u-noh").

2. The answer to that question is that 'History is a highly charged subject'. And of course, I agree. I mean, where else do you get to learn about:

i. How not to be a European power. Case study? Italy. Their 'brilliant tactics' and 'superior comradarie' helped them to lose every single war without FAIL throughout World War II
ii. How to be a champion. Follow Mao. That guy dominated China against all odds, bro.
iii. How to be a renowned teacher -- follow the World History teacher standing there, with what seems like a globe stuck above his belt. Exemplary, I tell you.

3. Talking about Mao, that fella had a whole harem to himself man. Talk about domination. Even *I* feel inspired.

4. Any more info on his harem and I'm gonna go bleating "Four legs good, two legs better". This kinda equality is my kind of thing man.

5. China's students are also highly charged up about history (see, it lasts till today!). Apparently, they've made a big beeg hoo-hah about Jap history textbooks.

6. I say, someone in their right mind should just ask them to tiam. Why do you want to protest against some minority rightist textbook, so that you can get one who tells the whole world how badly China the big fat buffalo fared against its shortie Japanese neighbours donkey years ago?

7. It's like telling the world what a small red dot Singapore is in contrast to a Malayan tiger up there and a Indonesian Big Bird down there. (Out loud and bold, and with a New Paper Big Walk
to let the whoooole world know.)

8. I apologise for all the insinuations. Purely accidental and fictional, I assure you. *especially the Big Bird down there part*

9. I say that it's time Malaysians start protesting about Singapore's history textbooks. By the same logic, lim peh says that Singaporean textbooks have left out a serious serious trend over these 30 yrs of nation building.

Lim peh (my Malaysian alter-ego): "Wa ka li gong, they forgot to say that although Singapore started 2 yrs later than Malaysia as a nation, their Singh-ah-pour dollah is now worth 2.23 times the size of every RM we have. How can they not report the facts truthfully?? We want to PROTEST!!!"

10. Maybe the Cheena students should start protesting why China cannot conduct a "Annexation of Tokyo". More creativity is what we need, man.

11. Gossip of the day as heard from my TS ger classmates: My TS lecturer is hot.

12. Gossip of the day confirmed (by me): My TS lecturer looks hot. Just wayyy too old for my taste.

Today's thoughts can be summarised in a few headings:

1. Recovery from last night's emotional exhaustion.

2. Going thru motion at school. I'm glad I did that. Better than being sincere, in bed.

3. I still feel sore about myself. And relating with others.

4. Fullerton is a lovely place. And so is the Esplanade.

5. It'd be great if I can experience what it's like to slack for a period of time.

6. No pt comparing with others: to compare what you know about yourself to what you don't know about others.

7. Am I too ideal? I feel I am too far from the ideal.

8. Something changes in my heart when I touch the Word of God.

9. My folks are in NZ. Quasi-guilt, phoney-guilt, pseudo-guilt, at not being able to wake up at 4.30 a.m. to send them off at the airport.

There's FIRE in the house (995 part IV)

Whoa. Finally. After 2 days of not being able to blog, feeling cao sianz.

Here's a devotional I did 2 days ago. This is a long article, so I recommend you chew on it bit by bit. =) Don’t get indigestion.

*tests mic* ahem...testing 1, 2 3. =D Let us turn our Bibles to 1 Peter 1, and we'll be reading from verse 1 to verse 12.

1 Peter 1
¹This letter is from Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ. I'm writing to God's chosen people (NIV:elect) who are living as foreigners (NIV: strangers in the world) in the lands of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, the province of Asia, and Bithynia. ²God the Father chose you long ago, and the Spirit has made you holy. As a result, you have obeyed Jesus Christ and are cleansed by his blood.

May you have more and more of God's special favor and wonderful peace.

³All honor to...[God], for it is by his boundless mercy that God has given us the privilege of being born again. Now we live with a wonderful expectation because Jesus Christ rose again from the dead. ⁴For God has reserved a priceless inheritance for his children, ... pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. ⁵And God, [being powerful], will protect you until you receive this salvation, because you are trusting him... ⁶So be truly glad!^[a] There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while.

A simple greeting like this by Peter reminds me of the many things God has been teaching me during these past few months through apostle Paul. Can't remember all the references, but will put them in if I remember:

i. God's people live as foreigners, people who live differently from those around them. People find them strange, people make fun of them as well. They act differently, talk differently, behave and react differently. They are foreigners, people of heaven who are still walking on this earth; an inherent ironical state, a state of perpetual tension, if you will. And it is no wonder! For they don't belong to this world, yet are physically present in it.

ii. These foreigners have something that sets them aside from the 'locals' of the world. They have HOPE (cf 1 Cor 13, 'the 3 things that remain'). Peter's summary is brilliant:

1) This hope is based on the resurrection of Christ;
2) There is an inheritance which will be given us, the children of God;
3) Will we ever reach there? I mean, isn't there a chance I might backslide? We will, because God is able to protect our salvation (interesting! I have always been perplexed by this, yet Paul concurs as well in Romans. Which means instead of worrying that in the future you might backslide, the only concern of yours is not to get complacent over your faith and think you yourself can sustain your faith in Christ.)
4) God protects our salvation as we trust him with it (yes, cf Romans too for Paul's own similar conclusion.)
5) This ETERNAL hope is much greater than our TEMPORARY suffering. (This is where I say, "And all God's pple say? Amen.")

And Paul concurs as well with all the above pts elsewhere (which has always struck me how amazing it is how the Spirit of God brings agreement in the body, despite them not meeting for umpteen years to discuss these issues). Check out 1 Thess, esp the part where he says that we who are in Christ should not grieve over those who 'fall asleep', as if we had no hope (like the people of the world are). Let's go on with the reading of Scripture.

And verse 7: "⁷These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. ⁸You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him, you trust him; and even now you are happy with a glorious, inexpressible joy. ⁹Your reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

¹⁰This salvation was something the prophets wanted to know more about...[they prophesied about it, questioned about it, wondered about it, especially Christ's suffering and glorification, but all they knew was that these things would not happen during their lifetime, but many years later, during yours, and would benefit you (my paraphrase)]. And now this Good News has been announced by those who preached to you in the power of the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. It is all so wonderful that even the angels are eagerly watching these things happen.”

So that brings me to pt 3, a development of what God has initially been teaching me from Paul's writings.

iii. This pilgrimage, as being a foreigner on earth, is not a useless thing. It is to groom up our faith. It is both a test and a training. It is a test because passing a test has rewards. (You get A for a History essay, as I did (with lots of God's GRACE, I must add =PpP), and you get a reward-- a higher chance of bringing up your CAP score, and more motivation to study.) And the reward for passing God's tests of faith is salvation (note the plural *wink*).

That is a significant conclusion. It means salvation, in all senses of the word, is not free, in the "pricing" sense of the word. It is freely given, meaning that it is unrestricted, but in terms of PRICE, it cost the Son of God his comfort, status, time, and ultimately life, and it will cost us our comfort, our time, our faith, and our lives as well. Which is a good chance to review a hard theological qtn: can salvation be earned, since it costs us something to get it?

Let me explain why I think this deserves treatment as a hard theological question, especially to those of you in my fan club who dismiss this as a foregone conclusion.

Martin Luther was right. He said salvation was by faith, and not by works— e.g. indulgences, penance—and therefore purgatory is nonsensical as well (someone should give him an F for plagarism. The essence of what he said was said at least 400 yrs before his time by a certain someone we know.) Now he's right, assuming he sticks to the reference he started from. Salvation isn't earned by works (that comes from Paul's understanding in Romans), it is given by faith. That means you can't demand salvation from God as if it were some salary, in the same way that Abraham, believing God, had no basis to demand any sense of 'righteousness' from God; rather, God threw it in like some bonus brownie points for him. And the good news is that these brownie pts are not just for Abraham, but for anyone who follows his footsteps.

Good, that's all from Paul. But the Petrine perspective?

The Petrine perspective is that tests of faith are literally that, tests. You fail or you pass. The good thing about these tests are that they are not unsolvable, e.g. a Maths test which you dunno the formula; but rather, so long you WANT to pass, you will pass (because it is a test of being willing to suffer for Christ). And that, like tests always are, there's a punishment for failing (not explicit but implied, because that’s not the emphasis), a reward for passing (v9), and a super-dooper reward for passing with flying colours (e.g. v7, if your faith remains strong, you get a public commendation on top of tasting heaven).

Now, let me clarify something. Failing, as understood here, means to deny Christ because the fella is unwilling to go through suffering (now, Peter should know what it's like to FAIL before). And let's get this right by saying that such a failure IS a failure. There is no justification for it, and one must come to terms with it. Its punishment is obvious. And that failure is not necessarily permanent. There is still a chance for restoration.

Right, I digressed. Back to the topic. Now if salvation is naturally linked with tests of faith, what does that imply? It implies that salvation is earned. But STILL, not earned by works. Earned by faith. Which is subtly different from the Pauline conclusion ("given, so that you wouldn't boast about yourself"), and vastly different from the Lutheran conclusion ("given, foolstop").

Now you would say, the Abrahamic example seems to support Paul rather than Peter. But let me (for the time being) support the ultra-Petrine stance by bringing you to the major test of Abraham's faith, which would give Peter an A-plus too, assuming he were to use it in his essay. It is the whole issue of Abraham having an heir. It is an issue of contention between him and God as early as Gen 15, in which Abraham essentially complains that the promises made to him earlier have no significance without him having an heir. God is quick to point out that the promise includes his heir. Now it is this promise, a promise which is too good to be true, which Abraham believes, and therefore it is something God credits Abraham for (point made by Paul earlier already).

Now interestingly, this issue was to be a lasting issue of faith between God and Abraham. Tracing from Ishmael's birth (Gen 16) until it's so-called fulfillment in Gen 21, the sheer number of repetitions, in which God had to reassure Abraham time and time again about his promise, seem to indicate that this is a long-lasting test of faith. In fact, in Gen 17, God rejects Abraham's proposal that THE promise should go to Ishmael; but instead confers it upon Isaac (which we must remember had not even been conceived as yet).

So what's the point of saying all of that? The point is that for about 30 years, Abraham had to wait for that promise without abandoning it, rejecting it, or opting for a substitute (like Ishmael). Now that has many parallels with the Christian wait on this earth, which is a long-drawn test of faith. We, and all creation, are waiting for the day when the sons of God will be made manifest throughout the earth (that came from Paul). Right, not much contention there.

The incidental test, however, can be seen in the sacrifice of Isaac. (Definitely worth mentioning to support Peter's case.) Having trusted God with "providing the sacrifice", he then goes all the way, binds the young fella up, puts him there, and raises the knife. Don't forget that prior to this God had given a promise, "It is thru Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned". So it all boggles the mind. How can God give contradictory orders (as it seems to the human mind)? Still Abraham obeyed anyway.

And BECAUSE (note the lang of Scripture) he passed the test, giving his most precious possession away, God's promise of the many descendants through Isaac was restated and affirmed.

So it is perfectly possible to argue that passing the test of faith is crucial, fundamental even, to enjoying the promise of God, namely, that of salvation; and even to argue it from the Abrahamic standpoint, as Paul does. So what to do with 2 subtly different perspectives?

A quick answer (by no means conclusive and exhaustive, but a launch-pad for your thinking and learning): these 2 perspectives are essential in viewing our Christian faith. They work together, and though seem contradictory, are actually complimentary. for e.g., in Abraham's case,

a. Who offered the promise? God did. Voluntarily.
b. Who offered the righteousness? God did. Voluntarily and in response to Abraham's faith.
c. Who took the promise? Abraham did. By believing God, and continuing to believe God, and passing the test through believing God.
d. Conclusion: did Abraham earn it? No and yes: no, because Abraham was right with God by believing him (i.e. undeserved), and yes, because the promise was affirmed as a reward for passing the test.

Now, the argument is already very complex, so I don't want to insert too fine a distinction between being right with God and having the promised Land. For the Christian, the 2 come together, through the work of Jesus Christ. But what is important to note is that salvation, as such, is both received and earned. It is not earned and received, it is received, then earned (and even while earning, it is still received. It's not very complex. =P think about it.) And both terms "receiving" and "earning" have NOTHING to do with good works. They have everything to do with faith. Faith enables you to be right with God and to receive God's promise, and passing the test earns you God's promise-- and there is only one way to pass the test, and that is by FAITH IN GOD.

That, then, is the reason for pt 4:

iv. This pilgrimage on earth is not just a test, but also a training -- a training of our faith. A training which should lead us to having more capacity in trusting God. If the above argument runs as it's supposed to be, then this will be no wonder-- if passing the test is so crucial, then God himself wants to prepare us for those inevitable tests. Why must a Christian mature in faith? Because it isn't optional. It's absolutely necessary. Our faith, which is so precious to God, must be made more precious. The tests, like fire, sort out the dross and hidden gaps in our faith, forcing a crisis that enables faith to be molded, to be purified, to be sorted out, and ultimately hardened up and 'STEADY', as the hokkien peng would say. The trainings are crucial for passing the tests. Both the training and the tests are on earth.

To be honest, this whole issue of facing tests is there regardless of what we want. It's really his way or the highway (bet you knew that, being a Christian already). Try living a life of supposed faith in Jesus Christ, in which you refuse to be molded or to go through trials. Hey, guess what: the tests will come ANYWAY. Sorry to sound mean, but there's a divine timetable which demands attention and priority. And which means that this training of our faith is something to be embraced; it’s hard stuff, but good stuff. God is a pretty nice guy, he'll give you the best welfare a soldier needs: good training. But if you lag simply because of pure disobedience, and miss a lot of training sessions, drills, mock exercises, by SIAM-ing and taking the easy route, e.g. by not exercising faith in God in your circumstances; reacting to hardship by murmuring against God rather than a cry of trust; God asks you to trust him and do something out of your comfort zone, and you blatantly say "no"; …when the real test comes, it’ll be like Triple-H VS 1-2-3 Kid: you’ll be comatose before you know it (and have to spend a lot of time in sick bay, if you’re not already spiritually gone).

But that’s not Peter’s emphasis. Heh. Peter is actually looking forward to the situation where you and I go through these hardships and remain strong in faith in Christ. (Go into competition, get a gold medal, come out, and give press conference with no sweat. Something like that.) And such a situation is not just possible, it’s intended by God. =)

Praise the Lord! Hope you guys find this helpful.

P.S. There’s a pt 5 which I have not covered, so that those of you who are very VERY full will not get stuffed up and vomit. =) But if you want pt 5, let me know. Very interesting that it’s mentioned by Peter, yet brought home to me by my Maths teacher.

They're half right. =)

Your dating personality profile: Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active. Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you. Conservative - You take a conservative stance on most issues and aren't shy about saying so. Your political views are an important component of who you are.

Your date match profile: Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape. Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Athletic 2. Religious 3. Conservative 4. Adventurous 5. Practical 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Shy 8. Traditional 9. Sensual 10. Intellectual

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Athletic 2. Religious 3. Practical 4. Adventurous 5. Sensual 6. Conservative 7. Traditional 8. Wealthy/Ambitious 9. Outgoing 10. Big-Hearted

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Trust and obey. for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus.

*I've decided to put a secret addition here, as a blog of my listening to God. It's not secret in the sense that I don't want people to read it, but just secret in the sense that I don't wanna draw attention to it. So it's being added, discreetly, here.*

If we're gonna set up a church, it has to be God's church and not our own. There must be a reason why the church must be there.

Don't build a church for the sake of building one. Don't build a church so that it can stay in the established mold. There must be areas of strength that this church can contribute to the models of others.

So far: I want to disciple a church that's faithful to God and to each other, full of faith and the Word of God. A few things must change:

1) We must not have too big a congregation-leader ratio. Affects the depth of fellowship and the assimilation of the Word.

2) Our sheep must aspire to be like Christ. They must aspire to one day be mentors and examples to their fellow sheep. The cares of daily life must not be used as a justification for a lack of devotion to Christ. Rather, the Lord must take our burdens so that we can take his.

3) A normal Christian is one who loves God and makes God the top priority in life and service, to sacrifice in the capacity of a layman. An extraordinary Christian is one who makes extraordinary sacrifices to achieve the goals God has set him/her to do. The sickly Christian is one who barely can cope. And such people is who we aim to restore to a healthy position.

4) Systematic teaching, while important, must be mixed with spontaneous teaching. Both are impt. Because the spontaneous stays in the person, while the systematic is easily passed down.

5) Teaching involves both doctrinal teaching and teaching the sheep how to interpret the Word.

6) Fellowship and fun is also important within the community. We must not be work-driven and forget that the church is the gang with which we'll be hanging out for eternity.

7) Blind loyalty to the leader is ill-advised. Personal loyalty to a leader who is himself loyal and accountable to God, his word and the sheep is the correct principle to pass down.

8) Blind loyalty to an organisation is ill-advised. Loyalty to a church group, in the context of the universal church is the correct principle to pass down.
---

My goals for the next 3 months:
1. To gain back a consistent walk with the Lord. To develop more self-control. To be filled with his holiness and his Spirit.
2. To finish my ICI as part of my spiritual self-development
3. To disciple the outreach folk to a dedicated faith in Christ.

Draw me nearer to you
Nearer to you
Fill my life with your presence
The way you want to
Till my soul is amazed
Each and every day
Draw me nearer, nearer to you.

- 1 Peter 1:13 "Be alert, and exercise self-control".
- live in reverent fear of Him, especially since the ransom paid for me was not cheap, but the very Son of God.
- to draw closer to him

Lord, light a fire again
I feel new life begin
I'll stand and testify...
Revival set me free
I am brand new

- Man shall not live by bread alone. Man needs the Word of God for his daily life as well.
- Once not his people, now part of the people of God. Once having no mercy, now receiving his mercy. Therefore to keep away from evil desires, which war against my soul.
- It is God's will that my good life should silence opposers; although being free, to use my freedom to live as God's slaves. (How do you use your freedom?)
- Don't be afraid to suffer for doing good. It brings a reward from God. "Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!"
- For Peter, one of his main emphases: "Keep your conscience clear." Baptism as an appeal to God for a clear conscience.

Phillipians: Don't forfeit your privilege to suffer for Christ. =) Remember, you have the privilege to trust in Him, you have the privilege to suffer for Him, and you have the privilege to share his glory.

As Elisha once made a bold request, so I make a very bold request. I ask to have a double portion of the Spirit of God that rested on Paul.

I say even as Paul says, "I'm not trying to say that I've achieved perfection. But I keep WORKING TOWARDS THAT DAY!! When I will finally be all Jesus saved me for!"

The aim, my friend, is to finish this poem though it is 3 a.m. in the morning.

Today is one of the few days I'm in Jap studies tutorial! =) And I realised there's this ger in my project group who looks almost totally like the old Smaine (as in, the one before she dyed her hair to look like Yang Guo =PpP). Hahaha. The fact that I didn't know she was in my group till last week shows how many times I've been working with my group -_-''''' (and my attendance @ JS tut too)

Actually, she almost has the same personality traits as Smaine too. And she's v pretty...the feminine kind of pretty. So interesting. Long lost twin?

Ah, and I must add: these blog posts are not meant to offend. =) Just what's in my mind, dat's all. So to all my fan club: read them positively ya? I always think positively of you guys. =D

Anyway, 1 song and 1 poem for all you folks out there who share my joys and sorrows. =) they describe today, 'cos today's a day which I don't want to go into explicit detail.

The Reason by Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go:
That I just want you to know!

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear...

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is You

And the reason is YOU.

The next poem's going to be very uncharacteristic (and therefore difficult for me, I must add). I'm going to try my best, but forgive me if it turns out wrong. =P

Here goes nothing.

A not-so-pretty Rose Tree by Daniel Ng

"A flower was offered to me,
Such a flower as May never bore;
But I said, "I've a pretty rose-tree",
And I passed the sweet flower o'er."

Said Blake,
For such philosophy as man makes
Man makes so with Choice.
For Heaven's sake,
Each passing moment with force take
While dew is yet moist.

Yet flowers grow scarce in winter,
And winter seems never to end;
Each day, each time gets colder,
Till to it all nature bends.

For a fleeting flow'r bees head toward,
Till there's scarcely space for sight;
And then each bee confirms his hoard,
Each reigns it by his might.

So to hold on to my rose tree,
To tend her day and night;
Need not be a misery,
Nor a source of thorny delight.

Unless Choice,
A quiet but resounding voice
Makes his appearance on your stage.
Then Pity,
Your all-time enemy
Makes his dent on your page.

Today: interesting, boring, and irritating. Go figure.

As the title suggests, today is a mixed day. But surprisingly restful. I think it's cetharsis.

Really getting rid of the fustration and angst I've been feeling nowadays. And the gloominess too. Here in JB, I felt irritated by my mom. Yet, also felt comforted to have her along.

Played a lot of War III today, trashed my Malaysian counterparts (to bits, I tell you, no matter WHICH map we played), played San1 Guo2 Qun2 Ying1 Zhuan4 IV (and Iz, I must tell you, I love it utterly), and did very little work.

What a boring, boring day.

Then discussed (a synonym for 'fiercely debated') about CNI. Some pple thot I needed more motivation and started showing me all the rewards and stuff. And I was trying to get it into their thick skulls that the rewards meant nothing to me 'cos the opportunities were not YET there. Duhh. So obviously I will say I'll do more when the opportunity comes rite? So dumb. Continued showing me the reward scheme.

Altho I hope to intro it to Janice tho. I mean, if it provides an income for people, why not lor. I don't need all these rewards schemes to keep me going if it's something good.

I think today's the longest day I ever stared at a computer. And the first day in a long year that I've visited the pasar malam. HA HA. So fun eh. First time I actually enjoyed shopping. I think I realise what kind of shopping I like. FOOD shopping. Hahahaha. I spent about 20 plus RM on food. And the cost is roughly equivalent to Singapore...i.e. if you spend $3 on a plate of char kway teow, you're probably spend 2 or 2.50 RM here. So....guess how much food I shopped. =D

I could shop for food all day. Hee hee hee. *happy grin* No problem with shopping for that. And won't get tired. And all it requires is a good NOSE. *wriggles nose*

Now chatting to a plump ger who reminds me of Janice and my POOH. -no comment-

If

Feeling very melancholic. *weeps*

*Dan sings*

If a picture paints a thousand words
Then why can't I paint you?
The words would never show
The you I've come to know

If a face could launch a thousand ships
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you.
You're all that's left me too.

And when my love for life is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me

If a man could be two places at a time
I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today
Beside you all the way

If the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die. . .
I'd spend the end with you
And when the world was through

Then one, by one, the stars would all fall down
Then you and I
Would simply
Fly --
Away.

(Still thinking when I will get a chance to sing this song to someone special.)

WAHAHAHHA!!!!!

I couldn't resist blogging about this. I just saw a clip which showed this NUS guy professing his love to a girl in front of the whole LT!!! With the help of his sporting professor.

WAH LAO EH!!!!! LOLROF!!!!

And the whole group of the audience simply burst out laughing and applauding as this poor shy fellow gave this ger a bunch of flowers....hahahahahha.

Wah piang I felt so so paiseh for the guy manz. Pengz. I think if that amount of attention was ever focused on me (whether I be in the guy's position or the girl), I'd die of shock and fright.

*sings* FOUR a.m., and the rain is pouring...here we are at the crossroads once again

Ha. I've just changed the template, but no, it didn't bring back my SIDEbar to the SIDE. (go figure.)

(Authorial note: yes, by some stroke of luck, it suddenly went back to the side. Glory.)

Spent the whole of today sleeping, and yesterday was blogDay. Read Mr Brown's blog, so farnie!! See it here.

Also saw Xiaxue's blog. Wah I had no idea her gd fren from RV is my current dramamate manz! This world is real small. And I must say that her friend, unlike her, is quite a nice and sweet ger. Ha. Honestly, the value of being chio is going down nowsadaze...sweet and nice is better. =)

Still feeling worked. :) Help.

An updated profile from the prev one. =)

Things about me you may have never known

ME

Name: Ng Yongsheng Daniel
Age: 22 (rotting and rigor mortis included)
D.O.B. : 06 01 1983
Height: 1.67 m (unless I've shrunk, which I won't be surprised...)
Weight: UNKNOWN (and it will remain that way for a pretty long time)
Tribe (e.g. Ammonites, Amalekites, Hittites, Canaanites, Edomites, Jebusites, Hostelites, Termites, Lotsoffights, Flyakites, Rideabikes and Takeahikes): Parasite...oops, I meant, Perezzite. :P

FAVOURITES

Destination: Philippines
Board Game: Monopoly, Hotels
Fav food: Laksa Mee, Kosong-bawang prata, anything oily and bad for health
Fav drink: Milo-peng
Fav band: MLTR
Fav musical group (for lack of a better phrase): Westlife
Fav songs (at this present moment): The Reason and Running Away, both by Hoobastank
Fav colour: Red
Fav chill-out activity: Playing drums, LAN, watching live bands, drinking Mocha Ice-Blended while doing nothing at all, and bio-ing girls. =D
Fav phrase: "Eh, no lor!"
Fav attire: T-shirt, berms, sandals
All-time fav activity which Daniel has never mastered: Dancing

BESTS

Best all-time friend: Donch have yet.
Best friend from JC: Felicia
Best friend from youth group: Ben and Iz
Best friend from RI: Chris
Best female friend: Janice and Felicia
Best co-worker in the Lord: Glenn
Best acquaintance: Meihu
Greatest enemy: Donovan
People which left the greatest impressions on my life (both good and bad): RHB, Dad, Mum, Elisa, Auntie E-mei, Auntie Florence, Uncle William and Auntie Amy, Pastor Simon, Darius.
Best mentors I ever had: Dad and Auntie E-mei
Person with best first impression: Wenshan
Best sister I have had: Grace and Kimberly (the small cute ger who used to follow me around when I was in Bethel)
Best army buddy I ever had: Alex
Best looking guy I know: Edward Choy (Ah! I finally remember a good-looking guy! Our gender has hope. =P)
Personal best strengths: A musical ear and hands, a brain that can think, sensitivity to the Lord and to others, a mouth and body that can teach, and having experienced and enjoyed such a wide variety of activities throughout life.
Best looking girl I know: Weixuan
Best time of my life: Primary 6

WORSTS:

Lowest score for any test: 52% (for History. Let's not count in Chinese, shall we? =P)
Lowest time of my life: JC and NS
Biggest disappointment: 1) what I shall call the 'V-day episode', and 2) the way the ministry team was disbanded
Worst fear: To chase any girl, and to go into any war
Worst political manouevres: 1) to take my HCL exam and pass despite having "dropped it" 2) to arrange for a recourse to BMT just in time to go into OCS
Worst struggles: Against weight and against self
Worst waking up thought: Oh no! I'm late again!

USELESS THINGS U SHOULD KNOW

DAN:
1) loves chocolate (it's the only ice-cream and cake he WILL eat)
2) loves cows (he ain't called the King of Kow for no reason)
3) likes the nickname Trashcan. Why? 'Cos it fits his build exactly (short and stout), and somehow hints at the Sesame Street character "Oscar" (which I like. Heh.)
4) recently changed his nick to Chosen. Why? 'Cos realised that being chosen of God means leaving aside the negativism of 'trash'
5) has a song for every season. And if you pay attention closely enough to the songs he is singing, they will tell you a story of his inner life. Even when he doesn't say much.
6) has a destiny and purpose, for which he is sweating blood now to complete. =)
7) names every incident with a catch-phrase. In the same way China has its Tiananmen Incident, US its 911 Incident, and Singapore its Michael Fay Incident, Dan has (in roughly chronological order) the "C-episodes", the "V-day Incident", the "Dancing Saga", the "Purple Hit", the "Manda Disaster" and the "Me-2-U Flop". All the above disasters, I mean, INCIDENTS, involving girls, of course.
8) has thoughts the length of the blogposts you see. No sirree, it ain't no exaggeration or showmanship on this blogger's part. Just pure thoughts.

ARRRGH!!!! Random Ramblings

Just feel like screaming now. Argh. As I'm in the lib reading my book, my position slouches more and more till I'm almost...asleep. My Maths teacher said something interesting today. He said that Descartes, a philosopher and mathematician, liked to sleep late and wake up late, doing most of his mathematical work deep into the late night. When the Queen forced him to be an early riser, he died a few days later.

Moral of the story: Habits are hard to break, and people learn in different ways. Whatever.

Why I quoted it: 'Cos I'm a late sleeper! Argh. Can't study now. ARGH...

One sudden thot as I'm sitting here, thinking about a crush I have: I know my fear's too great to overcome. I shall have no choice but to take a back seat. A VERY back seat. Very un-courageous, but no choice. (This kind of sudden thoughts will be what my Maths teacher calls "Intuition"...the kind of thing that makes Euler suddenly sit up and say "v-e+f=2")

Maybe I need help.

*music plays*

"Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone
Help

Once I was younger so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now those days are gone I'm not so self-assured
Now I find I've changed my mind
And opened up the doors

Help me if you can I'm feeling down
And I do apprciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please
Please, help, me.

Last line: Won't you please, please, help, me...help, me, help, me."

-- Beatles, 1965

Maybe, just maybe, I should get help from Nicholas. =) It takes one teenager to help another.

Has anyone seen any book that has a title approximating "Reversing the Rigor Mortis In You?" Help.

Some musings before I CHAO MUG for Mathx

Last blog entry today before I go.

I just got to see Janice's blog, through a whole series of links. Not the Janice who is my PA, fanclub president, Alpha co-worker, etc. =P It's the blog of my grandjunior from Hwa Chong. I used to chase her in my army days. It became an experiment that blew up in my face as well though.

She's now in the US studying (lucky gal)...and seeing her pic makes me realise how much she's changed, appearance and aLL. The last time I saw her was when she and a good friend of hers came to NUS to visit one of my pals/classmates from JC. That time I didn't think she'd changed so much.

Everytime I think of this girl, one persistent thought/worry always comes to mind. And that is, how's her walk with God? I remember the time when I was attracted to this lively, opinionated girl, and thought that she, being from the same A/G background as me, shouldn't be too far off. As it turns out, our walks with the Lord were on completely different paths. I don't want to comment on what hers is, 'cos it's not for me to judge. But everytime I remember what she had said to me about the Lord last time when she was in JC, I shudder with worry. Seeing her blog, which states in the same breath the F word and how her relationship with the Lord has become closer, worries me too.

I know. It's none of my concern. I know.

Can't help recalling the past and wondering about her as well. (silly sentimental me). She probably wouldn't be doing the same about me though, if my perception of her is correct. She's got more than her fair share of suitors, from what I think and know. So I don't think she will think. For me, I only have a string of regrets to think about. And one of them is and will be her.

I still can recall almost all the incidents of the past when I had spent time with her. Alas, memorials built where hope has long faded. It's not a choice though. It's things which I still remember--

a. the first time I was whisked away by a girl into a cab (the first time my life had EVER been so TCS 8)
b. she crying in front of me...and me being a complete bodoh, dunno how to offer tissue/shoulder, have to wait for her to take out herself and put it in my hand
c. go to Botanic Gardens, where for the first time I saw her fav tree (it's the ONLY trip to Botanic Gardens I actually enjoyed)
d. the person who actually taught me how to OPEN Bundaberg Root Beer (I promise you it's so hard to open when you don't know any better)
e. my fatal "Me 2 U" bear
f. the fatal "Me 2 U" card which made this friendship, a pyramid of cards, fall apart.

There's more, there's more. And I can only write so specifically 'cos I know she won't see this. Otherwise, I don't dare to write my own feelings so openly for something so tragic. But as I write this I relive the memory, and frankly, I don't want it to fade to oblivion. 'Cos it's sweet. Even if it were only for a time. And even if it's only so for me. Iz ever told me b4, somehow, what sentimental guys take as significant, girls don't even see it as such. And I think I must agree. That makes these memories also a knife through the heart.

I don't know, it's something about me, for a very long time I've wanted to know how she's been getting along. How life is for her, I guess. Not just she, but for all the girls I've loved before. I'm always this silent guardian angel...at least I want to know she's ok, doing well; and of course, most of the time, these girls do well, get on with life, and actually do VERY well indeed. =\ For some, not all, I manage to salvage the friendship, and they become good buddies instead. For some, like Janice, such occasions can be very painful. And oddly, it's these people that I tend to look out for rather than those who stay as my friends.

I don't know why...maybe those of you who study psychology know. I don't know. I wish I knew. Maybe it's the fact that there's something unresolved? I find it even more odd that some of these girls I've loved before affect me till today. Maybe, unknowing to myself, I have not forgiven these people for what I've experienced. Maybe I saw no need to -- how can you forgive something which they did not (directly) cause you? Maybe that's why I look out for them, with a dual look: both to guard the person who I love, and yet to see if some kind of providential justice befalls them. Don't let these opinions frighten you. they are "maybe"s, theoretical reasons why I may unwittingly do what I do and feel horrid when these people go on with their lives and become successful. Then again, there might be another reason...that I should hurt when they go "scot-free"...that I should feel such significance and they feel NONE, maybe just this sense of disappointment and being let-down.

There is a girl, who was once in that category, and who is now not. And that's because the Lord healed some of the terrible terrible wounds between the both of us. That's another story for another time. But maybe that holds the key to what I'm thinking. Maybe I long for that friendship to be restored. Maybe what I need is not an explanation but an experience of restoration and mutual forgiveness.

Those are easier to fulfil, I think. I think the hardest and most probably impossible expectation is that they should also feel that those experiences were significant, in the same way I feel about it. And I don't think that's realistic. So...I also dunno what to do.

I end my thoughts here.